Translating Smolder

Two monitors face me as I sit at a small desk in my office/studio/bedroom. On the right, the monitor is filled with thumbnail images from the Smolder photo shoot. And on the left, this blank page that I have been staring at for the past hour. If I had my camera in my hand now, there are a dozen different photos I could take right this moment, just at my desk. Sharpies, paperclips, blank DVD's, a small green stapler and a half dozen scribbled pieces of notepaper are arranged in random disarray across my desk and softly lit from the glow of the two large monitors. Yes, I can see several good photos!... If my finger was as efficient poking away at the keyboard as it was on the shutter button of my camera, I could have written a short story by now. But I am a photographer, not a writer.

I didn't always know that I was going to be a photographer. I went off to college to become an aerospace engineer and finally graduated with a business degree. But instead of climbing on to the bottom rungs of the corporate ladder I decided to join the Peace Corps. And on a small island in the South Pacific I discovered it... Well, sort of. The road to self-discovery is a long one, and I've proven myself to be an exceptionally slow student at times. If asked at the time what I wanted to "do" with my life, I would have been hard pressed to come up with an answer at all, and despite my budding passion for photography, it never crossed my mind that I might one day be one. I was living in the South Pacific. It was a beautiful place. Everyone was taking photos! We were all recording this once-in-a-lifetime experience.

But this is what I now realize with the benefit of hindsight: I wasn't just recording moments with my camera. I was was beginning to find ways to translate those moments to film.

Take for example the typical birthday photo: "Make a wish and blow!"... Click/Flash... A moment recorded forever on film... Then, 15 years later you flip though the photo album with friends and family and laugh at how young and silly you look. And the photo will probably bring back many memories for you. You might be able to recall from the photo everyone who attended the party, and that particular white elephant gift that your best friend re-gifted to you, and possibly even the flavor of cake...

Now show that same birthday photo to a complete stranger and ask them to make some observations. What kind of story will they be able to create from the photo? While it may be obvious that it is a birthday party, will they be able to figure out how you were feeling at that moment? Can they guess what you wished for just before blowing out the candles?

I like to think of it as the difference between recording history and creating art. History, like a snapshot photo, records the human condition and allows us to remember; art on the other hand translates the human condition into all sorts of forms and allows us to experience and feel...

Theatre is so interesting because there are so many levels of translation going on. From the playwright who translates the human condition into an original script, to the director who then translates the script into a vision for the stage, and then the actors who each translate their character and brings them to life on stage. The list of course goes on.

Three weeks ago I got to play my own part in the theatrical process when I arrived on stage to take press photos for Smolder, which opens today at The Strand Theatre. I've been taking theatrical photos for over three years now and I love the challenge of translating live theatre to a static image. I never approach a photo shoot with the idea that I want to simply tell the story in photos. My goal is to try to capture the "essence" of the show visually. Part of the joy is that this is such a collaborative process. I like to work with the actors and directors organically, inviting serendipity to play its role. Instead of setting up posed scenes, I often prefer to let the actors run the scene so that I can get a feel for the rhythm and emotion. Sometimes I'll go back and modify the blocking to suit the crop that a camera imposes on the scene. Other times I will challenge the actors to forget the blocking and even the script all together and just focus on their emotions. Like any collaboration, there is a great feeling when everyone gets in sync. And when it happens, I know the photos are going to translate without even looking at the back of my camera...

As I glance one final time at the monitor on the right and scan the collage of thumbnails from the Smolder photo shoot, I realize that I have come a long way from that small South Pacific island. But that is where the translation began.

I Heart Sylvia...

Love is probably the most prevalent theme in the arts. It's very simple.. it's basic... it's something we all search for in our lives from the moments of birth. When a child is not held or touched... this affects their development tremendously. Love may be basic, but as we all know too well, it certainly isn't simple.

I have always wondered about the phrase “falling in love” You FALL not knowing if there is a net to catch you or if you will plummet into a bottomless pit. It is a risk – you can be rejected... crushed.An actor can fall in love with the character they portray. Recently I have fallen into a blissful state of love with my latest character, Sylvia.

In the production at the Strand, Julie Lewis's “Smolder” uses unrequited love to be the theme of the play. Reno, a building superintendent is in love with Sylvia. She is a narcissistic, beautiful woman who is obsessed with appearance and what is socially expectable. Sylvia has a boyfriend named Richard, however, she is not in love with him. They have fun... they play the “charming, cynical cosmopolitan couple.” He has money, associates with high profile people which enables them to climb the social ladder together. Tragedy strikes and Sylvia is burned and scarred, leaving her face disfigured. She becomes depressed, hopeless and convinced the world will not except her if she is not beautiful on the outside. What she begins to realize is that she was not beautiful on the inside when her skin was flawless and radiant. She was a cold hearted bitch. Sylvia regrets not responding to Reno's former affection and begins to fall for him, but Reno begins to resent her. Well, timing is everything and they never seem to be equal on this see-saw of love, where either he loves her and she rejects him.. then she loves him and he rejects her..

I portray the version of Sylvia post accident, loathing my past self and trying to paste my life back together. Depressed and in pain clutching onto loving a man that can't stand her. When I work on a character, it takes me to deep places.. however being aware of my reality and the life of the character is something to hold onto. You cannot help to pull colors out of your emotional paintbox that resemble the hues your character possess. I personally have had a few nightmares during the rehearsal process of being burned and having my face melt away. Like Sylvia, I know what it is like to have my heart ache and broken. In life when we experience tragedy or loss, it is very important to process this, but eventually find a way to pull yourself up and use the pain as a gift to enhance your life. Working on a character that is depressed forces me to delve into a dark abyss for a performance... to viscerally experience the pain and heaviness of melancholy. But the craft of acting allows one to bounce back and pull out the bright and happy colors that make up who I choose to be in my real life.

Being on stage can be a very risky emotional place. It is where one can be open and vulnerable and touch emotions that we may chose to suppress in real life. And there is no net to catch an actor.. we hope to fly on stage, and not need a net. As an actor you need to learn to love yourself.. create balance and be aware if your character is becoming too much a part of your life. One should be able to work a scene that is horrific and tears out your heart.. and with a simple exhale... let it go. Sylvia has been a wonderful part of my life, and I want to thank Julie Lewis, for creating such a complex character.